Sunday, May 10, 2009

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

Our mothers are Goddesses. They have humbly and unequivocally accepted the challenge of proactively holding down role of the life-giver, the nurturer, the teacher, the healer, the lover, the encourager and THE ROCK. Although this list does not do justice to what our mothers truly mean to us, it is an abbreviated testament to what is important in our lives. After all, it is our mothers who have taught us to be respectful, thoughtful, and grateful for the little things which in essence are great things.

Mothers have such a major effect on us not just by what they say and do, but by how they say it and do it. While prayer changes things, Mom rearranges things. Our mothers have helped us fine tune our value system, appearance, speech, work ethic, and our attitude. She has been the one person whose timing is deliberate. Every scolding, punishment, chore and lecture had a designed intent to let you know that she brought you in this world and would surely take you out if necessary. Every hug, kiss, smile and high five comforted, and empowered us to go back out into that world again knowing that Mom gave us her blessing and achieve the unseen and unheard.

It's not just a cliche, but every day is Mother's Day. Every day that you can think about her, talk to her, listen to her, learn from her, touch her, hug her, kiss her and remember her is a day that you should celebrate, cherish and take advantage of.

Today and every day I thank God for my mother. I thank my mother for being my angel and my everything. I love and honor her for being a relentless, reliable tower of strength, love, compassion and beauty in every single way. Mom, I love you so much. Thank you for choosing to bring me into this life. You had a choice and I thank you for making the choice that you made. Hopefully, my life is an indication that your choice was not in vain.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

DEFERENCE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

A true friend will stab you in the front? Yes.

The first time my mentor shared this with me years ago I paused. True indeed it was clever, however it wasn't a thought/proverb that he created although he made me think so initially. So often growing up, we were stabbed in the back by people we put our trust in. These people, in our minds, were our true friends until we discovered several blunt objects protruding from our backs. Sometimes we actually felt the knife go in, other times people had to let us know that they were there. No matter the case, it's potentially a deal breaker. It's the kind of harsh reality we must face in our lives more than we care to.

It doesn't limit itself to our childhood. We will remove knives from our backs continuously but it is up to us to decide whether we will leave the knives there and press on or remove the stab throwers from our circle of trust having learned from those stab wounds. If we must remove knives allow them to ones that we can see coming. It's much easier in my humble opinion to remove knives when we have been stabbed in the front. When this occurs at least we know the who, when, why and how. Although the knives still hurt, the act of the stabbing in and of itself has no malicious intent, but the intent must be intepreted correctly by the target. When someone stabs you in the back, it's betrayal, but someone stabs you in the front, it's deference.

To be shown deference can be an ego/confidence killer depending on how or when it is shown, and why or by whom it is shown. Deference done in a sincere manner can build character and allow for a moment of clarity. Initially it may hurt and make us furious and confused yet it is intended to makes us more analytical, cautious and ultimately more appreciative of those who hold the knives. As a result we know where we stand with those whose opinion we value and trust. Thus, when someone shows you deference, take into consideration the nature of your relationship, see the intent, critically analyze, make the necessary adjusments and proceed with no regrets. There is a blessin in every lesson thus give thanks to those people and the role that they play in your life, growth and development. As we learn from friends and family allow their deference toward us allow to the make the difference in our lives and others.

DEFERENCE = DIFFERENCE